Avoiding Self-harm (WIP)

One of the reasons self-harm can be so difficult to avoid is that it usually serves a very important purpose in a person’s life, and it can take time to understand how it helps and what non-harmful things can be used in place of self-harm. The reasons people self-harm are extremely diverse and complicated and many people will have multiple different reasons for self-harming at different times. It can take time to understand the function of your self-harm and it's ok if you don't understand it yet or never do. All reasons for self-harm are real, valid, and important, even if they don’t make logical sense or aren’t common.

Because self-harm can be helpful and self-harm urges can be very overwhelming, it can be difficult to remember why you want to reduce how often you self-harm or quit. Keeping a list of reasons to not self-harm on you or with your self-harm tools can help remind you of why you want to avoid self-harming. Below are some ideas to help you come up with reasons to not hurt yourself and ways to remember them, as well as some examples of reasons.

For some people self-harm can be very impulsive and sudden decision, so slowing it down and delaying can be all it takes for an urge to pass or reduce to a more manageable level. Here are some ideas for delaying self-harm, often time combining these strategies is more helpful then just using one. Different things are helpful for different people and at different times, so you might want to try these methods multiple different times, trying different things while you wait.

If you do still end up harming yourself you should still be proud of yourself for delaying for however long you did, all progress is good progress.

• Getting through the next few hours guide by Mind UK
• Call or text a friend or hotline
• Cloud/star gazing
• Create art; draw, colour, papier mache, clay, paint, cross-stitch, etc.
• Browse social media
• Do a puzzle; jigsaw, crossword, sudoku, wordle, Tetris, GeoGuessr, 2048, etc.
• Meditation, you can find guided meditation videos online
• Read about other people's experiences
• Clean your room
• Write something; you could try these writing prompts
• Go out; to a cafe, library, shop, park, etc.
• Yoga
• Bird watching
• Watch a movie/tv show
• Read random Wikipedia articles
• Read a book
• Hang out with a friend
• List things; movies, celebrities, animals, songs, etc. For more of a challenge list one thing for each letter of the alphabet
• Journal or blog
• Do gentle exercise; yoga, go for a walk
• Cook or bake
• Listen to music
• Paint your nails

Here is a longer list of distractions.

Simulation alternatives are alternatives to self-harm that simulate sensory or other aspects of self-harm; pain, the look of wounds, blood, etc. Some of these can still cause the body harm, some people still count them as self-harm, and they aren't helpful for everyone. If you don't find these types of alternatives helpful see the sections above and below on Distractions and Function Based Alternatives.

• Capsaicin cream/roll on (causes a burning sensation)
• Using bandages/plasters where you want to harm
• Holding ice, splashing your face with cold water
• Wax your legs
• Get a piercing or tattoo
• Drawing or recreating self-harm injuries with makeup
• Watching horror movies with jump scares or action movies
• Clench your fists hard and then let them go
• Use red food colouring or paint to simulate blood
• Snap a rubber band on yourself
• Exercise
• Try progressive muscle relaxation
• Cut/tear/burn/etc. an item other than your body
• hit something soft
• Swallow round sweets (like skittles)
• Eating spicy or sour food
• Colour in old scars or places you've hurt before
• Draw self-harm on a photo or drawing of yourself
• Acupuncture rings or rollers

Often times alternatives to self-harm are over generalised and do not take into account the unique functions self-harm can have for different people, this can make these alternative ineffective for some people, especially in the long term. Instead, alternatives that are focused on the reasons and functions of self-harm can be more useful replacements. For example, if a person hurts themself to communicate and express distress holding ice probably wouldn't be helpful because that does nothing to help them express themself, but writing a poem about how they feel would express and communicate the person's distress in the same way self-harm does and then would be more likely to help.

Some people also find therapy helpful to find alternatives to self-harm and ways to manage other underlying issues. Medication can also be helpful to some people who self-harm. If you're interested in either of these options reach out to a medical or mental health professional.

Below are some alternatives and resources related to different functions of self-harm. It might take time for you to find what alternatives are helpful for you and it isn't uncommon for different thigs to help at different times, just because something didn't help the first time doesn't mean it will never help. It can be helpful to keep a list of alternatives that did and didn't help you before when you were having self-harm urges for different reasons (for example, "when I am struggling with hearing voices listening to music to drown them out helps instead of self-harming, but talking to someone else didn't help"). If you aren't sure why you hurt yourself see the first section of this guide titled "Why You Self-harm".

If you don't see your reason(s) for self-harming in this list that does not mean it is any less real than the ones that are listed. This is not an exhaustive list and your reason for hurting yourself is still just as important and valid.

If you have suggestions for more alternatives, resources, etc. to add, please send them to me via my Tumblr blog or comment them on my Neocities profile.